Sunday, August 25, 2013

so close, yet so far...

Seeing you, being so close to you, yet feeling so so distant from you… Knowing you are just next to me, yet unable to bug you here and there like I used to, unable to look at you, unable to hold you close to me, unable to hug you tight and cry my heart out. What should I do? Yes, for a few moments I thought I was getting you back… that you were coming back… But no, it was just what I felt… no less than a dream. It wasn't coming true.

Just because I keep smiling, I talk infront of others doesn’t show how I really feel inside. Feel like crying and bursting inside me, yet unable to cry. Feel like talking but having no words to describe how I feel. Feel like being happy, act normal but not knowing how to be anymore. Feel like sleeping but unable to close my eyes, just because that one scene keeps on repeating on my mind, it haunts me.

I don’t know. My head seems like it’s going to explode. M just tired. Too tired. Tired of this life. Tired of everything. Can`t I have you back, please? Why is this happening to me? Why me?? What bad did I do? What bad did I wish for anyone? What was my mistake to deserve this much pain? This pain is just unbearable.. :(


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